E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

It’s official: 8% of babies are losers

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Babies: they can’t even use Social Media right.

Well now it looks like people may have been taking my warnings to seriously (Again? Jeez. At least it didn’t end in mass suicide this time…), as a new study found that 92% of American babies have a social networking presence through Facebook and flickr photos and, for trashier babies, MySpace accounts.

Here’s the problem though: cool people don’t overshare on their Facebook or Twitters. Yes I’m very proud that you reproduced, congratulations. But do you need to bombard me every day with 300 photos of this larval human? Are we really so mindlessly obsessed with social networking that peoples lives, from birth to death, will be documented online? Oh shit we are.

Gawker, for it’s part, has warned “when these kids grow up they’re going to find it impossible to run for political office because…pictures of them vomiting…pooping their pants and crying.” Ummm I know Adrien Chen went to college in the years before Facebook, but photos like that appear online after every school dance. No need to worry about baby photos in that case.

And to think, that woman in the park screamed when I kept trying to take photos of her baby…

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

October 8, 2010 at 12:04 pm

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