E PLURIBUS MORON

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The Recently Divorced Dad Special

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Divorced dads, hungover college students, the crazy obese and anyone who basically refuses to take care of themselves: these are the people that one Dayton area Domino’s pizza is going after (and we can only assume are trying to kill).

According to Restaurant News (funny, I thought it was called Philadelphia Magazine), a Domino’s franchise near the University of Dayton is now serving a “breakfast pizza”. Oh yum pizza for breakfast! Who needs joint custody of the kids now?

Manager Carami Macken (we can only assume this is an anagram of his real name used to hide his shame) has said that sales of the breakfast pizza have “definitely picked up now that it’s gotten some media”. But is that really a smart metric to use? Christine O’Donnell’s gotten a lot media attention too. Come to think of it, Ms. O’Donnell’s politics are somewhat like breakfast pizza—a little bit satisfying but mostly just totally deadly.

We also have learned that this Domino’s is the nation’s only 24 hour Domino’s, which just confirms my long held suspicion that lack of sleep and too much pepperoni will kill each and every American.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

September 29, 2010 at 1:01 pm

Posted in Food

Tagged with , , ,

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