E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Celebrity Justice: Moron style

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As anyone who has been on the Internet in the past week knows, Lindsay Lohan tested positive for cocaine, violating her probation and sending her to jail for a couple of hours. Shocker! I bet it was just like Gaga’s “Telephone” video, only slightly shorter in duration and a lot less confusing.

Anyhoo, I just wanna point out something: blogs and people trying to fill 24 hours a day of cable news, complained that that “Lindsay Lohan Will Get Off Easy” for violating her parole. I know it’s tempting to pile on LiLo, because God knows her dating history shows she loves a good pile-on, however giving Lohan jail time is ridonkulous and really backwards. We shouldn’t shove addicts into jail for relapsing: they’re addicts. Come on! Do we jail Justin Timberlake every time he relapses into acting? No, we slap him on the wrist with bad reviews and pray he releases another album.

If you really wanna punish and horrify Lindsay Lohan, how about forcing her to watch I Know Who Killed Me? Or making her spend time with her less-relevant-than-Jon-Gosselin father? That’s better making another person suffer because our country has really idiotic drug laws.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

September 27, 2010 at 1:09 pm

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