E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Ayyy ohhh I’m runnin’ fuh gov-a-nuh ova’ here!

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In an act of diversity that is completely unheard of in the Tea Party, it seems as though the candidates for governor in New York state are trying to out Italian each other. See that! Italians are a different ethnicity…that’s white….and is only oppressed by The Jersey Shore…

The battle for governor in the Empire State is getting tastier than a rigutta gannoli, as Tea Party bestie Carl Paladino (who looks suspiciously like Emperor Palpatine) recently said his opponent Democrat Andrew Cuomo doesn’t have the “cojones” to be the governor of New York. Shhh! Carl are you crazy?!? If your Tea Bagger patrons/constituents hear you speaking Mexican they’ll have your ass deported back to Tijuana!

While Paladino is right in that being New York governor is a job that requires 3-5 years of demonstrated use of the cojones, if this is the best attack he can come up with this guy doesn’t understand the full on iron-wrenches-down-by-the-Brooklyn-Navy-Yard style of politics (and cheesecake) that New York is known for. Cuomo gets it, as he recently casually referred to Paladino as “an asshole”. What a classy bunch!

So seriously, who needs claims of creeping socialism and unified world government when we all know the smartest campaign strategy is to simply talk shit about your opponent in the post. Salute!

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

September 21, 2010 at 9:38 pm

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