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Oh tennis. Are you a sport? A lifestyle? Or just an excuse to put on tiny shorts and then drink a whole lot of gin?

Well now tennis is also the cause of bloodshed: The New York Post is reporting that at the U.S. Open in New York last night a fight broke out between a 20-something man and a woman and her father. Yes! Take that hockey: the other equally sport and is now also full of “shoving”, “slapping” and “attempted strangling” too!

Sure, the Post says that the fight broke out when “a female fan complained to a man…about his repeated use of the f-word during the first set”, but we all know that’s not true. The guy probably said something that would piss off a regular tennis fan, like that Chenin Blanc is a much crisper white than Chablis, or that Dartmouth’s rowing team will never match up to Princeton’s nautical vigor. “What the fuck did you say about Fischer’s Island?!?”

All kidding aside though let’s be clear: fist fights at a tennis match are really really stupid. I mean, you shouldn’t fight to begin with, but over tennis? Come on. How goddamn insecure to you have to be to get in a brawl during a match of a sport that has a type of diamond bracelet named after it? It’s just like, damn Connecticut, calm the fuck down…

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

September 3, 2010 at 11:23 am

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