E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

I’ll say it again: Texas wants to destroy America

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Despite the fact that the whole place seems like a repository for half of the world’s supply of American flags, when it comes right down to it, Texas doesn’t care much for the rest of the United States. Remember the ad campaign “Texas: It’s like a whole ‘nother country”? Or that Civil War thing? Yeah those guys hate America.

And now we have proof! The Telegraph, a British newspaper which probably shouldn’t mock another nation’s cuisine for being wildly unhealthy, is reporting that a Texas chef Mark Zable has invented (wait let me grab my Lipitor) deep fried beer. Basically, Zable takes pretzel dough, shapes it like ravioli, fills it with Guinness and deep fries it. Well that’s it America is doomed.

Like the diseases brought by Spanish explorers that wiped out the mighty Inca and Aztec empires, the genius combination of deep fried pretzels and warm beer will surely bring America to its bloated obese knees, allowing Texas to secede and finally execute all their gays/retarded people.

(Cut to man in dystopian future staring at the golden brown ruin of the Statue of Liberty) You Maniacs! You blew fried it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

September 1, 2010 at 10:46 am

Posted in Food

Tagged with , , ,

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