E PLURIBUS MORON

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In 1992, Satan was the new Black

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I knew black was slimming, but Satanic too? Damn that’s a versatile color to have in your Senate wardrobe!

Okay so what am I talking about? Well it was recently revealed that while running for her local school board in 1992, Angle, the crazy pants Tea Party activist turned Republican candidate for the Senate from Nevada, campaigned to keep a local high school from using black colored football jersies because the bible teaches “that black as a color was thoroughly evil, invoking the supernatural and especially the devil.”

Thus, because black is Satan’s favorite color (who knew Satan went to Sarah Lawrence?), wearing black was obviously the cause of all of histories wars, famines, and, worst of all, the practice of smoking clove cigarettes. Thank you Sharron Angle for saving our children’s souls!

I myself am deeply jealous of Nevada citizens, who despite having a ludicrously high unemployment rate get the privledge of voting for a woman who thinks the devil lives in football uniforms. God bless you Candidate Angle, Satan fighter: who knew you’d somehow surpass Dr. Laura to have the craziest “White Lady showing her ignorance through the color black” story of the day?

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

August 19, 2010 at 2:40 pm

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