E PLURIBUS MORON

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It’s tttttttthe Mating Game!!

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Come on down, pizza face! You’ve just been chosen to play the Mating Game!

Though the judge was very clear I was no longer to attend these functions, if you’ve ever been to a high school dance you know the overwhelming nasal assault that is Axe Body Spray. Well now the New York Times is reporting that Axe is relaunching itself as “being a guy’s wingman and helping him as he navigates the Mating Game.” Stupidest new dating show, ever.

How can a deoderant spray be a wingman? Shit unless a genie comes out of that thing it’s gonna be awfully hard to distract a girl’s ugly friend by handing her a bottle of Axe and saying “here talk to this”.

Also I thought Axe was all about awkward slow dance boners and the promise of a terrible handjob, not mating. All this talk about using Axe to “mate” and not to “fuck around” sure makes it seem like Axe’s PR firm is either run by desperate 30 something women or the Catholic Church.

So here’s an idea, 16-24 year old men of the world, how about showering regularly so you don’t need Axe to help you mate? No one wants to be asked by their child “Daddy, where did I come from” and hear the response “Well my son you came from a can of man perfume”.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

August 18, 2010 at 11:32 am

Posted in The Media

Tagged with , ,

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