E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Terror babies are the new Anchor babies

with 2 comments

Since everyone yesterday was talking about “Anchor Babies”, I thought we’d cover the hottest new baby trend that everyone’s talking about: “Terror babies”.

Well maybe they’re only talking about “Terror Babies” to discuss what the hell is wrong with Congressman Louis Gohmert (R-TX), who did his best on Anderson Cooper last night to look like a raving nut job. Gohmert told Anderson that Al Qaeda is going to come to the U.S. to have babies, raise them as American citizens, and turn them into sleeper terrorist cells (who don’t sleep through the night yet).

Gohmert, whose last name sounds like a drunk hillbilly exclamation, isn’t necessarily wrong: Babies are terrorists. With their wailing/ululating cries, babies carelessly engage in acts of self-destruction (explain to me the difference between suicide bombing and pooping one’s pants). Babies even turn people into terrorists, as being stuck with a screaming infant on an airplane has made many a person think “I have to crash this plane”.

Gohmert, the House’s most prominent Birther, seems to have an aggressively anti-baby platform despite being “Pro-Life”. Maybe he’s just saying that the U.S. will not negotiate with either terrorists nor babies. Stay strong, Gohmy!

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

August 13, 2010 at 1:49 pm

2 Responses

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  1. […] Gohmert, the Texas Congressman known for his role on the Andy Griffith Show hatred of Terror Babies, has finally come up with a way to make our nation feel safe again after the violence in Tuscon […]

  2. […] outdated word passed 398 to 1, with the lone “no” coming from Tea Party Lunatic and anchor-baby hater Rep. Louis Gohmert. Defending his lunatic vote, Gohmert said in a statement “not only should […]


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