E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

The International Cyclist Conspiracy

with one comment

And you thought your friends who had bicycles were just annoyingly sanctimonious because they’re a bunch of goddamn hippies: turns out that they are actually agents of the anti-Christ. Hide the Kale!

How do I know this? Well, Colorado Republican gubenatorial candidate Dan Maes told supporters that his openent Denver mayor John Hickenlooper’s bike sharing program “could threaten our personal freedoms” by supporting the United Nations’ International Council for Local Environmental Initiatives which supposedly has a “strategy to rein in American cities”. Heavens no!

Of course Maes is totally crazy right. Plots to use carbon emission free transportation to enslave the masses are as old as civilization itself. The wheel? Use by evil Pharoahs. The old timey bicycle? Invented by Marx himself. Rollerblades? Do I even need to bring up the Gay agenda on that one?

So next time someone asks you to go on a little bicycle ride you tell them “Listen up Frenchy: I’ll be damned if you world government Fascist Islamo-Nazi pederasts make me ride on one of those two wheeled death wagons!”

Woo I’m winded from that last one. Guess I need more exercise. Well that’s nothing driving my S.U.V. can’t fix!

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

August 4, 2010 at 2:29 pm

One Response

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  1. Plus they ride them in HOLLAND. I mean, HOLLAND! That place is all about killing personal freedoms, like the right to take drugs and pay people for sex…oh, hang on a moment….

    leahfranqui

    August 5, 2010 at 12:46 pm


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