E PLURIBUS MORON

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So how excited you’se guys about the return of The Jersey Shore! It’ll probably suck because now they know they’re famous and not just H.P.V. carriers with film crews, but a boy can dream can’t he? I did however read one bit of news this week that suggest that the return of The Jersey Shore, in all its blazingly ignorant glory, may actually point to one interesting aspect of our times: the fact that OUR ECONOMY IS SO FUCKEDY FUCKED FUCKED!

This past Tuesday the cast of the show rang the opening bell at the New York Stock exchange, and as N.P.R. reports “the stock exchange ran out of guest passes” for the first time in it’s history! Well it’s now official: we’re screwed if the only way people want to show up to the New York Stock Exchange is if you bring the cast of America’s sleaziest reality show to the damn place. To put it more poetically:

J-Woww! Looks like the American economy is in such a bad Situation that stock brokers are dropping their Sammis and Ronnie-ing away from Wall Street. People we are in DJ Pauly Deep shit here and those left are acting Vinnydictive. Snookie.

Sorry, I had to, and don’t worry, I hate myself as much for what I just wrote as you hate me for having to read it.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

July 29, 2010 at 4:15 pm

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