E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Good mornin’ global warmin’

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Now before we discuss this 1.9375 pound news story, let me be the first to acknowledge that one weather related incident isn’t proof of Global Climate Change. When Jim DeMint, like the ignorant asshole he is, said during snowpocalypse that “It’s going to keep snowing in DC until Al Gore cries ‘uncle'” and denies that global warming exists, I wanted force him at snow-shovel point to eat yellow snow, but enough about my sexual fantasies.

This however, is a bit more of a sign: a record 1.9375 pound hailstone (pictured above) smashed into a man’s house during an epic downpour in North Dakota. That’s right, giant hailstones count as breaking news in North Dakota.

It seems to me that a 2 pound chunk of ice, which when it hits your climate change denying roof sounds like “a guy throwing bricks at the house”, maybe it’s time to rethink that blind hatred of environmentalism and consider how unpleasant an increasing number of violent hailstorms really is. It’s certainly cheaper than trying to put together your own version of Twister and having to hire Bill Paxton and Helen Hunt. I know none of us want THAT now do we?

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

July 28, 2010 at 10:07 am

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