E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Give Bitzy another G&T and she’ll disclose anything

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Time to cut those checks guys: Congress is about to do some new campaign finance regulatin’!

According to Bloomberg News, these new regulations would require corporations and unions to disclose their spending on political advertising and donations to third party political groups. Republicans object that the new measure only benefits Democrats by “(protecting) unpopular Democrat politicians by silencing their critics”. Now we could chalk this up to the Republican party whoring themselves out to big business, but it seems to me the real people against this reform are, you guessed it, The Jews W.A.S.P.s.

What is a defining characteristic of a W.A.S.P.? They have lot’s of old money that they don’t really don’t talk about. That mansion in Newport? A cottage. The donation of a new science building? Well Tripp simply had to go to Princeton.

Think about it: Cindy McCain, a Republican paragons of white upper crustyness, would sooner be caught dead than disclosing her finances. That’s why God invented the Cayman Islands with its juicy papayas and offshore holding corporations! Come on why do you think those W.A.S.P.y Founding Fathers let Delaware be a state? So no one would know how much money anyone had!

W.A.S.P.hood, in my opinion, is basically just a competition to see who can be least impressed by their own musty money. Being forced by the government to openly declare your wealth is so nouveau riche, don’t you think? Indeed, I think that now that we have a Black President, a Catholic speaker of the House, and no protestants on the Supreme Court, the W.A.S.P.s of this nation are finally fighting back to protect their own stupid lazy privilege. Vive la resistance (after cocktails of course)!

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

July 27, 2010 at 9:36 am

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