E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Trend watch: Fake retirement

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Remember the last time you were driving home from Southeast D.C. and swearing to yourself that you would “retire” from banging hookers, murdering them, and dumping their bodies in the Potomac?  You know it’s not true but you say it to yourself anyway? Well an even sicker retirement is also OVER.

Amanda Bynes, who I am the only blogger with the balls to point out frequents sex workers and kills them, is back from her 35 day long retirement! Is the economy so fucked that people can only stop working from late June to late July? Jeez those Greeks have got it good.

Entertainment Weekly has announced that Bynes will “unretiring” to be in the Girl With the Dragon Tattoo movie. Okay this needs to stop. Jay-Z, Bette Midler, Cher, would you all gather round for a second? Take a knee. If you “retire” and then continue to work, you’re not retired. It may sell tickets, but the idea that you’re announcing your retirement and then re-negging on it when you get offered a part is, shall we say, retarded.

Can we, thus, retire retiring? Like I said earlier we’re all too poor to retire anyway, so what’s probably best for the nation and our delicious brains is to leave fake retiring for better economic times. And, in Amanda Bynes’ case, more talented artists.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

July 26, 2010 at 6:32 pm

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