E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Trend Watch: Apocolypse guns

with one comment

From Alabama to Idaho to the gates of Mormon heaven (the only heaven there is), everyone is joining the latest craze: buying guns for the coming Socialist apocolypse! That 53 mm anti-armored vehicle gun is super fetch.

According to a new report released by the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms (which I am guessing has THE most fun gift shop in Washington D.C.), taxes collected on firearms and ammunition were up 45% from 2008 to 2009. To put that in perspective, the ATF reports the average increase per year in the previous 15 years was 6%. Finally, Americans will be so well armed that we can one up those hoity toity Somali militias and Chechen seperatists.

So why are guns so trendy right now? Well 41% of Americans in a recent poll believe that Barack Obama wants to strip citizens of all gun rights. Yikes. Note to self: only piss off the other, non-armed 59% of Americans…

Sigh. Well, I guess if taxes on weapons sales are the only way the government gets money these days, maybe we should embrace this new trend. What if the kids from Gossip Girl got guns? They’re always so stylish. Could we arm Justin Bieber? You know it’s a shame that at the recent Hills series finale they just cried and stuff, instead of Stephanie Pratt shooting her way out of a nightclub in a blaze of hot gun filled glory…

Advertisements

Written by Your Benevolent Editor

July 15, 2010 at 10:32 am

One Response

Subscribe to comments with RSS.

  1. Stop trying to make Fetch happen, and start shooting people.

    leahfranqui

    July 15, 2010 at 2:59 pm


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: