E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Is that the Capitol dome or Padma’s left boob?

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I can say with the confidence of someone who has lived here for the past 9 months that the only cultural thing that Washington D.C. leads the nation in is the Culture of Corruption and the non-ironic wearing of boat shoes.

That’s why yesterday’s premier of Top Chef D.C. is so ridiculously stupid! Now while I am man enough to admit that I watch Bravo, I would also like to point out that the Top Chef series is the only programming they have left that doesn’t make die a little (or frankly a lot) inside. The Rachel Zoe Project? Million Dollar Listing? These shows will surely be the first two rings in the gay-friendly rewrite of Dante’s Inferno.

Top Chef D.C. is a big fat miss. Just because a city is rich an important doesn’t mean it has a forward thinking food scene! D.C.’s just getting the kobe beef/small plates craze, putting it somewhere between Akron, OH and my grandfather’s favorite buffet restaurant in the hierarchy of American foodie dominance. While D.C. deserves credit for it’s awesome ethnic restaurants, this season is mostly going to be a showcase for Padma Lakshmi’s post-baby knockers and not local culinary know-how.

Maybe this is a deliberate choice though, and other Cable TV producers are going to put together sarcastic/oxymoronic reality programs like:

Real World: Salt Lake City — See what happens with people stop being polite and start being real, but without any booze!

The Real Housewives of Gopher Holler, W.V. — “Vicki you are trailer trash!” “Why thank you!”

Extreme Homemaker Over: 2010 Edition — What’s that Ty Pennington? You can’t remodel any houses because they’ve all be foreclosed? Bummer.

North Korea’s Next Top Model — While it’s sad that the girls on the show aren’t starving themselves intentionally, the clash between Tyra and Kim Jong Il’s huge egos will make for good TV.

Super chouette!

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

June 17, 2010 at 12:00 pm

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