E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Congrats Pelicans! The oil spill has been stopped

with 5 comments

After 36 days, the Deepwater Horizon oil well has finally been capped! Thanks to the pretty bad ass sounding “Top Kill Solution”, this oil well has finally stopped spewing millions of gallons of poisonous petroleum into the Gulf of Mexico. See what we’ve done for you Sea Turtles and dolphins? The least you could do is say ‘thank you’.

Of course our incredibly foolish and short-sighted petroleum addicted lifestyle is to blame for this event, but it seems to me BP should take some criticism too. After the trying for weeks to find a solution that would let them control and continue to profit from the all that oil, BP took over a month to finally just close up the well for good- allowing millions of extra gallons of oil to pump into the Gulf.

With that in mind, here are a few ridiculously important events that took or take slightly less time to resolve than this oil spill:

-The Cuban Missile Crisis

-The invasion of Iraq

-The entire adminstration of William Henry Harrison

-The inception, writing, and ratification of the Declaration of Independence

-Chevy Chase’s Talk Show

-Filming the first season of The Jersey Shore, thus creating an entire New World Order

-NBC’s much hyped rip-off of the British Friends rip-off Coupling

-The average time it takes to travel across Connecticut on I-95

Finally, a rat’s gestational period is only 21 days, which hopefully gave the Obama administration ample time to raise an army of vermin to release into BP’s headquarters.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

May 27, 2010 at 11:19 am

5 Responses

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  1. jenclinton

    May 27, 2010 at 11:26 am

  2. […] to make light of the situation… I have to share this post from a fellow Word Press blogger about “ridiculously important events that took less time to resolve than this oil […]

  3. […] So it looks like the Deepwater Horizon oil leak hasn’t been fixed. Womp womp. I guess that list of things that were resolved faster than this oil leak will soon include fun little events like the Thirty Years War and the Cretaceous […]

  4. How do I contact you. I would like to use this photo of the Pelican in a Final Cut Pro still project I am doing for a non profit in my college class. I need a higher resolution. Thank you. You can find me on facebook

    Diana Maxwell

    October 21, 2010 at 2:47 am

    • Actually I am glad you asked this question: with the exception of the photos of various Tea Party rallies, all the photos on my site come directly from either news sources or Google Image Search. I’m pretty sure they’re all public domain so go ahead and use it.

      bengrinspan

      October 21, 2010 at 1:55 pm


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