E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Indiana Jones: The Tea Party’s new favorite candidate

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Speaking of things that were better in the 80s and 90s,the Tea Party’s candidate in a highly competitive congressional race in North Carolina is none other than Indiana Jones. Well, maybe not THE Indiana Jones, but their candidate Tim D’annunzio definitely once claimed that he discovered the Ark of the Covenant.

The AP has revealed that D’Annunzio, who has raised over $1 million in campaign contributions, was subject to some pretty crazy claims from his ex-wife during their divorce. She alleged that he “had claimed to be the Messiah, had traveled to New Jersey to raise his stepfather from the dead, believed God would drop a 1,000-mile high pyramid as the New Jerusalem on Greenland and found the Ark of the Covenant in Arizona.”

Does this really sound crazier than anything else the Tea Party says? It sounds like their political boiler plate to me: Raising your step father from the dead is a good way to avoid those unconstitutional estate taxes. Also, since Global Warming doesn’t exist, building the New Jerusalem in Greenland is a fine real estate investment. Finally, by putting the Ark of the Covenent in Arizona, God is telling us it his divine will to arrest all those lazy, covenant-stealing illegals (and don’t gimme none of that hippie “They’re just taking the covenants Americans don’t want” bullshit).

D’Annunzio, who a divorce court judge described as a “zealot” who say the government as the “antichrist”, is in a run-off election for this seat. While I find this guy charmingly deranged, I’d sooner vote for one of those Nazi’s whose face melts at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark: at least they’ve served in leadership positions before.

Screw Canada, if the Tea Party takes over the 2010 elections, I’m moving to that pyramid in New Jerusalem.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

May 25, 2010 at 11:29 am

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