E PLURIBUS MORON

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What can’t you get delivered in New York City?

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This story is so funny I wanna stick it up my nose and rub the leftovers all over my gums.

The New York Post, which always breaks the best stories ever, is reporting that the NYPD was called the Marc Jacobs store in SoHo in a classic cocaine/anthrax mix up. When the store was delivered an envelope full of white powder, one of the sales clerks naturally assumed Al Qaeda was trying to get them and called the police (Clearly those see-something-say-something ads on the New York subway are working a little too well).

Now obviously when the cops found that the white powder was cocaine and not anthrax, they got pissed and took the employee in for questioning. The girl claimed “she had no idea why she was sent it” and was so unhappy with the way the cops treated her she is considering filing charges. Really unhelpful part-time model who works as a store clerk at the Marc Jacobs store? You REALLY don’t know why you got sent cocaine? You know you’re talking to the NYPD and not your parents as a 16 year old right? I bet she told them she was holding it for a friend.

As for the cops, they probably let this poor girl go for being a total idiot. Marc Jacobs and cocaine used to be like peanut butter and $1000 an ounce jelly. Even after rehab he still looks like he pours cocaine on his cereal in the morning. The cops surely responded because they thought it was hilariously dumb–or to see if they could make it to the store before it was all hoovered up the employees noses.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

May 17, 2010 at 2:43 pm

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