E PLURIBUS MORON

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‘Monster Mosque’ sounds like an awesome HGTV show

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Move over Time Squares’ Red Lobster with a notorious 3-hour wait, New York City has a new evilest building in town. It’s mostly evil if you consider fostering understanding between cultures ‘evil’; but just as I refuse to understand why tourists would wait hours for rancid popcorn shrimp, some people equally hate and fear Muslims.

Frequent Gawker punching bag and all-around-media-cunt Andrea Peyser is incensed that a muslim community group is building a large mosque directly across from Ground Zero. This “Monster Mosque”, aka the Cordoba House, will be in the site of a former Burlington Coat Factory and as Peyser points out will also feature a sinister “13-story cultural center with a swimming pool”. A swimming pool! Dear God no! Thank goodness Jesus can walk on water and thus cannot be drowned in it by angry Muslims; Ed Koch on the other hand will sink right to the bottom.

This coming June 6th, D-Day, the righteous geniuses at ‘Stop Islamicization of America’ will hold a protest outside the construction site. Wait, shouldn’t it be ‘Stop the Islamicization of America’? Nothing inspires confidence in your group’s intellecutal underpinnings like a fucking syntax error in your organization’s title. Take that terrorists, you may attack America’s most famous structures, but you’ll never stop us from damaging the structure of our own sentences!

Andrea Peyser and SIA have clearly learned nothing from 9/11 about how disastrous hate and ignorance can be. Can’t we all just come together and celebrate the fact that a Burlington Coat Factory has been shut down, and that no more innocent dogs will be turned into cheap fur coats?

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

May 13, 2010 at 11:26 am

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