E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Sic semper TWEENranus

with one comment

This coming saturday is the annual White House Correspondants dinner, who a who’s who of media and hollywood elite will come together to form the world’s largest televised circle jerk. Or watch Barack Obama look weirdly focused as he delivers jokes–which ever is possible before the salmon is served.

On the list of bold face names attending this event is none other than tween sensation Justin Bieber. If you add this saturday’s event to his performance at the White House Egg Roll and the White House Holiday Party, this will be the THIRD time he has been near Obama since he, ya know, emerged from under a toad stool and got a record deal.

You’ve got to admit this is totally idiotic. Should we really be granting this level of access to someone so annoyingly cute? He’s not actually that successful a musician. And he’s Canadian too! Who knows what secrets he’s funneling up to those dastardly socialist beavers up north??? Only when they appoint him to the Supreme Court should he be allowed to attend this number of functions.

The clearly the real tyrant of the White House isn’t Barack its his kids; they get to meet their favorite pop stars at an alarming rate. Do you know what Alice and Tazewell Tyler, the tween children of President John Tyler, got to do at their parties? They darned socks and tried not to die of typhus. And who did Nell Arthur meet? Why, her father Chester A. Arthur brought in the nation’s most popular young entertainer-Reverand William “Fire and Brimstone” Hornswaggle and the You’re-going-to-hell dancers. And they liked it dag nabbit!

I just don’t want that Bieber kid saying “shawty” in front of the First Family so much. Next they’ll be dancing!

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

April 30, 2010 at 2:56 pm

One Response

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  1. […] E PLURIBUS MORON Keep your government hands off my medicare! « Sic semper TWEENranus […]


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