E PLURIBUS MORON

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Two scoops of Nazi stupid

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Nothing makes me happier than when a stupid news event is reported in a similarly dim-witted way…and this time it’s based in my home town! I couldn’t be prouder. Seriously I couldn’t!

Now it’s undeniable that Nazis have had gotten a lot of press this year- between the healthcare reform battles, Inglorious Basterds, and refried bean swastikas, the Brown Shirt is the new black. However the following incident shows how just because something is trendy doesn’t mean it can be successfully everywhere.

In its article “Concertgoers show the Reich stuff, are beaten by crowd”, Philly.com reports that 3 people showed up to a punk concert in Old City Philadelphia starring Jimmy G (who used be known as Jimmy Gestapo) in full Nazi regalia. Surprisingly, the ‘roided up Jersey Shore rejects who frequent that night life spot didn’t take kindly to people dressed as SS officers and 50 decided to beat the shit out of these guys. What has become of our society where decent folks just can’t walk down the street dressed like Eichman? You know who I blame this on? The Jews.

So while that’s a fun story, the piece itself had some issues with it’s Nazi puns: while “The Reich Stuff” and the line “How did they Nazi this coming?” and pretty wunderbar, just two puns seems pretty timid to me. As I’ve said before, whether you want to do something incredibly stupid or just report on it, it’s important to commit to really build that authentic idiocy. My recommendations for lines this article sorely needed to meet that 2010-Nazi-chic gold standard?

-“They’ll be goebbel-ing up their food through a straw for a while”

-“It looks like passers by really beat the panzers off these would be SS”

-“Gestapo it! You’re killing me!’

-“The situation changed in the treblinka-of an eye”

I could do this all day, and given the trends I just might have to!

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

April 27, 2010 at 4:26 pm

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