E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Sexy Teenagers’ Sexy Sex (Did I get your attention?)

with 2 comments

District Attorney Scott Southworth of Juneau County Wisconsin will arrest your ass if you teach a Wisconsin teenager what a prophylactic is. You see, once Wisconsin Governor Jim Doyle signed a bill mandating that if a school chooses to offer sex-ed it must teach a comprehensive (non-abstinence only) curriculum, poor D.A Southworth was forced to threaten to sue teachers for “contributing to the delinquency of a minor” through teaching them how the pill works and what a “Dirty Sanchez” is.

In an interview with the AP, the  conservative evangelical District Attoney noted “There’s a real problem with the law…I didn’t pick the fight. The Legislature dumped it in my lap.” He then continued by saying “You know what I’d prefer in my lap? A sexy under aged high school girl who doesn’t know right from wrong or that I should have used a condom.” Of course you won’t find that in any article (thanks lame-stream media), but you know a guy this uncomfortable with sex is secretly a total perv.

When it comes down to it, preventing fucktards like Scott Southworth from filing stupid lawsuits is a lot like preventing kids from having sex. You can preach endlessly to people with the mental acuity of a 15-year-old, but when it comes right down to it their natural impulses will almost certainly get the best of them. The safest thing to do in both cases is to just sit back, hand out contraception and information, and watch teen romance blossom/an evangelical dipshit’s head explode.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

April 9, 2010 at 2:37 pm

Posted in Law and Crime

Tagged with , , , ,

2 Responses

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  1. Yes, besides, judging from OUR high school experience, VERY few of us were actually having sex. Or are now….we have to get out more.

    Leah

    April 9, 2010 at 4:56 pm

  2. I was an extremely sexless teen.

    That said, if they passed out condoms and, say, self-love guides at my high school, everyone would’ve been a lot less irritable all the time. At least I know I sure would’ve been.

    Hieu

    April 11, 2010 at 11:10 pm


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