E PLURIBUS MORON

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Crazy really is a growth industry

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Why, Mr. Beck I believe the words are “Thank you so much Mr. Obama.”

According to Forbes Magazine modern day church rivalist and King of the Idiots Glenn Beck made a staggering $32,000,000 last year. When you’ve finished vomitting, I think it’s important we look on the bright side of this piece of news: every dollar that he receives from someone’s racist grandfather in Indiana is a dollar that Grandpa Crazypants can’t spend on ammunition.

It was obvious that Glenn Beck is doing well (hello doesn’t he own all the gold in American now or something?), but it wasn’t until I read the interview with Beck that I realized how success has grown this man’s epically moronic ambitions. Beck told the interviewer of his future plans “I aspire to Walt Disney‘s never-ending quest to try to improve the quality of what he’s doing, his never-ending vision of, ‘Yes, it can be done.'” Do you know what this means? Glenn Beck is going to use his new wealth open his own Disneyland-like amusement park!

Think how fun it will be! Glenn Beck’s show is always a roller coaster of emotions, so why not build a real one where the cars fly past anamatronic Hitler and Stalin robots chanting “Yes we can”? Or what about a fun arcade? I am picturing some kind of whack-a-mole game where the moles have the faces of famous liberal intellectual like Saul Alinsky and Cass Sunstein. In fact, what if they just buy the actual “It’s a Small World” ride from disney and let his crazed xenophobic followers go nuts in there with submachine guns. Oh my god the souvenirs would be great too!,You know how you can buy Mickey Mouse ear hats at Disneyworld? At Glenn Beck’s new theme park you can get a tinfoil hat!

Hey ma! Get the kids in the SUV! We’re going to Beck Land!

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

April 8, 2010 at 11:41 am

Posted in The Media

Tagged with , ,

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