E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Jesus is the new Oprah

with one comment

Do you ever sit there in your place of worship and wish you were at The Price is Right? Do you find yourself thinking “eternal salvation? I want a present from God NOW”. Well it seems as though one young pastor has managed to reinvent Christianity for the ADHD age group!

The Bay Area Fellowship Church in Texas gave away over $2,000,000 of prizes at their Easter sunday services yesterday. While some have criticized the give away as bribery, Pastor Bil Cornelius said that they were actually trying to reach out to those lazy Christians who would only show up to church for a free above ground pool. Isn’t that religious entrapment? I can’t wait for this pastor to get caught in a crazy sex scandal and say “Oh officer no I wasn’t soliciting a prostitute! I was trying to teach him through Christ why you shouldn’t chase after underaged tranny hookers.”

Is it possible then that Oprah, the person we usually associate with giving away free crap, is now so powerful that she has transformed the Christian church? And is this really a direction that churches want to go in? I’m not talking about the moral or spiritual questions here, but rather the dangers of one upmanship: Joel Osteen and Pat Roberts can probably give away private jets. Time was all you got at a church in Texas was fire and brimstone and some strychnine dag nabbit!

“You get salvation! And you get salvation!”

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

April 5, 2010 at 1:30 pm

Posted in Religion

Tagged with , ,

One Response

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  1. See, this is why we chosen people are rockstars. Did you know that you’ve ALWAYS had to pay to be part of a congregation? True story. Because money? Not so much the root of all evil as it is some awesome mcawesome.

    Leah

    April 5, 2010 at 5:42 pm


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