E PLURIBUS MORON

Keep your government hands off my medicare!

Old people love cults

with one comment

Ever since your office laid off all the employees except you (someones gotta protect the abandoned furniture from bandits) you’ve been looking for some non-schnapps related distractions at work. Check out this terrifying piece from yesterday’s All Things Considered?

The piece focuses on the “The Villages”, a singularly anti-intellectual Disney-like Florida reitrement community that boasts nearly 80,000 residents and 450 holes of golf. Old Republicas can’t get enough of this place; who needs the scary real world with all it’s crime and gays and black presidents? In here Ronald Reagan is still president and women know when to shut the hell up.

“The Villages” sounds like the cultish dystopian community we all look for in our golden years. Gary Morse, the developer, owns all of the communities vital services and has set some fair Orwellian rules for his slice of paradise. Are your grandchildren talking too much about the outside world? Well they are not allowed to stay for more than 30 days! Wanna use your car to escape this plastic nightmare? Everyone here drives a golf cart purchased from, you guessed it, Gary Morse. Not sure who to vote for? “The Villages” has become a major campaign stop for conservatives from Sarah Palin to Mike Huckabee (I saw him on the Fox News!).

So please, take 12 minutes out of your day and listen to this piece. The real world may be rife with morons, but after this piece you’ll thank your lucky stars that at least you’re not caged in with them by the alligator infested swamps of central Florida.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

April 1, 2010 at 9:56 am

One Response

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  1. […] centrist I-4 corridor, with its soccer moms, Nascar dads and Theme Park voters, and the Villages, a terrifying aglomeration of angry old Republicans whose dying wish is to pinch Paul Ryan’s cheeks. Finally, up north there are evangelical […]


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