E PLURIBUS MORON

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A reality show would turn Sarah Palin into a national joke!

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It seems as though the Discovery Channel is poised to announce that they have a contract to film a reality show with Sarah Palin. As Variety reports, Palin will receive $1 million an episode to host a travelogue of Alaska, her home state and front line on the war between wolves and people in helicopters with high powered sniper rifles. A travelogue of Alaska? What an oddly safe bet- and this from the woman who braves slings and arrows every night to answer Fox News’ uncomprimising line of questioning!

So in the interest of our nation here are but some my ideas for reality television programs that would better demonstrate the charming lovability and intellectual talents of the divine Ms. Sarah Palin:

Going Vogue (MTV)- Sarah Palin becomes an intern at Vogue in NYC and has to deal with The City level intrigue. It’s gonna be a hoot trying to watch her read that stilted dialogue off of her hand…

Sarah Palin’s Drag Race (LOGO)- Talk about pit bulls with lipstick! Watch the former Governor teacher these Drag Queens how to strut their stuff! I can just see her saying “Well Ms. Crystal Chandelier I think you are the finest he-she of them all! Your performance of “Womanizer” certainly doesn’t make baby Jesus cry.”

Fair and Balanaced American Idol (Fox)- It’s time for some conservativism on a show hosted by a lez, a black guy and a commy European. We all yearn for a Paula Abdul character to return to the show, and I think Governor Palin’s non-sensical ramblings would be perfect to fill that void! Plus producers, unlike with Paula Abdul, wouldn’t even have to stuff Palin full of Xanax and cat tranquilizers to get her to sound that deranged—she comes by that naturally.

Palins vs. The Kardashians: Judgement day (E!)- I really think people would be receptive to a bloody, no-holds barred fight-to-the-death cage match between America’s two most annoying families.

America’s Next GOP Presidential Nominee (The CW)- I actually can’t tell if this idea would make me laugh, cry or vomit. This would however be a great sponsorship opportunity for the nation’s vodka companies, as millions of Americans would turn to their product to get through the mere possbility that she could lead the free world.

Happy watching!

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

March 24, 2010 at 10:30 am

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