E PLURIBUS MORON

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Election time in the Lone-Brain Cell State

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If  tomorrow’s Republican primary election for governor of Texas is any indication of the fun things to come in the 2010 election, this blog will never be short of good material.

The establishment candidates, Rick Perry, the current governor, and Kay Bailey Hutchinson, the senior senator, have sparred for months over who will get the privilege of running the state and doing things like signing bills to allow concealed weapons in daycare centers.

But lo! The state’s charming “git off ma property” attitude means that both Perry and Hutchinson are to French for some people’s taste, and so Debra Medina (pictured above showing Texas’s traditional left turn hand signal) stepped in as the torch bearer for the Tea Party Movement. Because she represents such a singly thoughtless political ideology, the smart pants Guardian newspaper wrote a hilarious profile of both candidate Medina and her rapid followers, who according to the author, “believe Obama is a closet Stalinist or a Nazi or a Muslim fundamentalist or indeed all three together, no matter how blindingly contradictory such beliefs are.”

The important question is this: how can Tea Baggers, who fully believe Barack Obama a Muslim as evil as Jaffar in Alladin, be so in love with a candidate whose last name is MEDINA! Medina! The second holiest city in all of Islam! Can you imagine that a people as deeply informed and cosmopolitan as the average Tea Party member wouldn’t notice that somewhat hilarious coincidence?

Perhaps it’s that Texas and Saudi Arabia are essentially the same place: full of oil, hummers, gun toting fundamentalists and thousands of square miles of hot wasteland. Shit if you could fit a bouffant blonde debutante hairdo under a burqa the two places might as well be identical. Would you then be truly surprised if Texas accidentally elected an Al Qaeda sleeper cell member for governor? Inch’allah, that stupidity wouldn’t surprise me.

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Written by Your Benevolent Editor

March 1, 2010 at 3:37 pm

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